Some More Fun with Marshall
Posted: Thu Nov 11, 2004 3:45 pm
Q: What's the difference between a Marshall University fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
Q: How many Marshall University fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, but he gets 3 credits.
Q: Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase?
A: On the Marshall University campus. That's the last place you would find a football player.
Q: Why do they throw out a sack of manure at Marshall University weddings?
A: To keep the flies off the bride.
Q: Why don't Marshall University fans let their kids play in sand boxes?
A: Because cats keep covering them up.
A Marshall University fan walks into a doctor's office and removes his hat to reveal a frog sitting on his head. The doctor asks, "How can I help you?" The frog replies, "I was wondering if you could help me get this wart off my butt."
Q: Did you hear about the Marshall University fan who locked his keys in his car?
A: He couldn't get his family out.
Q: Why do Marshall University fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.
Two Marshall University fans were walking down the street when they came upon a dog lying on the sidewalk licking and cleaning his groin like dogs do. The first Marshall University fan says to the second, "Boy, I wish I could do that." The second Marshall University fan replies, "Yeah, me too. But I wouldn't try it." The first Marshall University fan asks, "Why not?" The second Marshall University fan replies, "Because I'm afraid the dog might bite me."
Q: What do you call a good-looking girl on the Marshall University campus?
A: A visitor.
Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the Marshall University library?
A: Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
Q: Did you hear about the fire in the Marshall University football dorm that destroyed 20 books?
A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.
Q: Do you know why the Marshall University football team should change its name to the “Opossums”?
A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.
Q: Did you hear the story about the semi-truck carrying pigs that flipped over on the Marshall University campus?
A: The officials had to check ID's before letting anyone back on board.
Q: What does the average Marshall University student get on his SAT?
A: Drool.
Q: What should you do if you find three Marshall University fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.
General Schwarzkopf was walking through the desert during the Gulf War when he found a lamp on the ground. He picked it up, rubbed, and out came a genie. The genie said to the General, "I will grant you one wish." The General replied, "I wish that we will win this war. Here is a map of the desert and all the war parties. Please make us win the war." The genie responded, "I'm not that powerful of a genie. I cannot grant you that wish." "Well," the General responds, " then can you have Marshall University beat Bowling Green this year?"
After a moment, the genie says, "Let me see that map again."
Q: How do you make Marshall University cookies?
A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.
Q: What do you get when you cross a Marshall University fan and a pig?
A: Nothing. There's some things that a pig will not do.
Q: How many Marshall University freshman does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's a sophomore course.
GO BG!!! BEAT the HERD!!!
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
Q: How many Marshall University fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, but he gets 3 credits.
Q: Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase?
A: On the Marshall University campus. That's the last place you would find a football player.
Q: Why do they throw out a sack of manure at Marshall University weddings?
A: To keep the flies off the bride.
Q: Why don't Marshall University fans let their kids play in sand boxes?
A: Because cats keep covering them up.
A Marshall University fan walks into a doctor's office and removes his hat to reveal a frog sitting on his head. The doctor asks, "How can I help you?" The frog replies, "I was wondering if you could help me get this wart off my butt."
Q: Did you hear about the Marshall University fan who locked his keys in his car?
A: He couldn't get his family out.
Q: Why do Marshall University fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.
Two Marshall University fans were walking down the street when they came upon a dog lying on the sidewalk licking and cleaning his groin like dogs do. The first Marshall University fan says to the second, "Boy, I wish I could do that." The second Marshall University fan replies, "Yeah, me too. But I wouldn't try it." The first Marshall University fan asks, "Why not?" The second Marshall University fan replies, "Because I'm afraid the dog might bite me."
Q: What do you call a good-looking girl on the Marshall University campus?
A: A visitor.
Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the Marshall University library?
A: Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
Q: Did you hear about the fire in the Marshall University football dorm that destroyed 20 books?
A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.
Q: Do you know why the Marshall University football team should change its name to the “Opossums”?
A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.
Q: Did you hear the story about the semi-truck carrying pigs that flipped over on the Marshall University campus?
A: The officials had to check ID's before letting anyone back on board.
Q: What does the average Marshall University student get on his SAT?
A: Drool.
Q: What should you do if you find three Marshall University fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.
General Schwarzkopf was walking through the desert during the Gulf War when he found a lamp on the ground. He picked it up, rubbed, and out came a genie. The genie said to the General, "I will grant you one wish." The General replied, "I wish that we will win this war. Here is a map of the desert and all the war parties. Please make us win the war." The genie responded, "I'm not that powerful of a genie. I cannot grant you that wish." "Well," the General responds, " then can you have Marshall University beat Bowling Green this year?"
After a moment, the genie says, "Let me see that map again."
Q: How do you make Marshall University cookies?
A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.
Q: What do you get when you cross a Marshall University fan and a pig?
A: Nothing. There's some things that a pig will not do.
Q: How many Marshall University freshman does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's a sophomore course.
GO BG!!! BEAT the HERD!!!
