BG-UT humor

[VAFalcon]

I'm sure many of you have seen some or all of these, but this was emailed around to the Washington DC-area alumni chapter on Friday evening... Enjoy!!

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Yes, that most special week is here again. Toledo-BG football. In the
spirit of fun and rivalry, I present to you the Top Ten Toledo jokes...

Q: What's the quickest way to get a UT grad off your porch?
A: Pay him for the pizza

Q: Why do UT grads hang their diplomas on their rear veiw mirrors?
A: It qualifies them for handicapped parking.

Q: How many UT students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, UT is too ghetto for light.

Q. How many UT freshman does it take to microwave popcorn?
A. None, that's a Junior level course at UT.

Q. What does the incoming UT freshman get on his SAT test?
A. Drool

Q: What is the difference between a Toledo co-ed and a Porsche?
A: Most men have never been in a Porsche.

Q: Why did they install astro turf instead of a grass field in the Glass
Bowl?
A: So the Rocket Cheerleaders wouldn't graze after games.

Q: What does the Toledo graduate say to the Bowling Green graduate?
A: Hello Boss.

Q: What happens when a Toledo fan takes Viagra?
A: He gets taller!


And...

Q: Why is the wind so bad in BG?
A: Because TOLEDO SUCKS!


NEWS FLASH!

Did you hear UT is only dressing 30 players for the game with BG?
The rest of them will have to dress themselves.


FROM THE NEWS WIRE:

Fire in Toledo Football Dormitory Destroys Books

(AP) - TOLEDO. A fire early this morning at a dormitory housing football
players on the UT campus this morning burned down. Included in the list of
items destroyed in the fire are 15 books. Coach Tom Amstutz is making a
plea to the UT community to help replace the books as 12 of them had not
been colored in yet.


AND FINALLY:

Toledo degree placement tests have been changed to use a format more Toledo
students can understand - Legos. Here are some examples ...

Fine Arts majors: Pick your favorite color Lego.

Accounting majors: Count the Legos (limit 10; time limit - 1 hour)

Engineering majors: Connect two or more Legos; time limit - 3 hours

English majors: Spell L-e-g-o.

Football players: Steal as many Legos as you can.

[MajorFalcon92]

[Class of 61]

[Tech83]

Q. What did the UT grad say to the BG grad?
A. Would you like fries with your Big Mac?

All apolozies to BGSUfanatUT-living in Cincinnati.

[BGBoilermaker]

Oh, man. Those gave me a good laugh in an otherwise depressing period of tests and projects. Thank you for that.