Ay-Ziggy-Zoomba.com

He's 1-3 as a head coach against schools that start with a vowel....

Never beaten a school south of 41 degrees north latitude.

Runs slower than Fleck so he will never catch the boat.

Haha, we got entirely too relaxed and didn't do the traditional coach-roast posts for the opposition, so we're roasting our own. I like that it's all in good fun.

...is a perfect 1-0 against teams with a mascot that's a marsupial

knows now that everything is bigger in Texas

... is undefeated against bovine mascots.

..... is currently undefeated in 2017

Is winless against inanimate objects... (Rockets and Buckeyes).

Assuming a Blue Raider is some kind of Civil War reference...he's winless against vestiges of the war between the states...or the war of Yankee aggression...or the end is States rights...or the war for freedom...depending on your outlook

Interviews well.

Thinks Velma from Scooby Doo was really saying "Jinks", not "Jinkies!"

...his close friends call him Coach Eric Taylor.

... may apply to be Western Michigan next head coach so that his wife can experience lake effect snow.