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Trev "douchemonkey" Alberts' Heisman List.
Posted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 11:48 pm
by Jacobs4Heisman
Nebraska Trevor just did a sportscenter segment on Heisman hopefuls. After verbally fellating Leinart for a few minutes, Alberts proceeded to name Vince Young, Reggie Bush, and Chad Henne as some other candidates. I got no problem with that list.
Then, he named his mystical dark horse candidate. The name? drumroll..........
Gerald. Riggs. Jr.
Is this guy serious? How can you put this guy above Omar on any heisman list? Oh wait, I know why...because a backup running back at a BCS school must be heads and shoulders above any MAC player. The best part of the segment was listening to Trev drool over Mr. California with his numbers on the screen. 3,300 yards, 33 TD's, 6 INT's. I just started smiling. Only a 5.5-1 TD/INT ratio? Only 3,300 yards? No dreadlocks? Loser.
Trev Alberts mother has probably changed her name by now out of sheer embarassment.
Posted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 7:53 am
by duckunder53
I completely agree, how can he not have Jacobs on his list (which seemed to be a lot more than a top five as the screen stated) when some guys have him top three and a lot of guys def. have him in their top five?
Posted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 9:29 am
by Redwingtom
You have no problem with Chad Henne over Adrian Peterson on that list?

Posted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 9:55 am
by 1987alum
I said it before and I meant it. I do not watch ESPN's studio segments relating to college football because of Alberts, James and, to a lesser degree, May. Their arrogant self-important demeanor and seemingly endless source of audio manure has worn out my mute button.
Most of the generic talking heads don't bother me and I can tolerate their droning. But Alberts and James have taken stupidity to heretofor unseen heights and I, for one, refuse to subject myself to their egocentric rantings.
Posted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 10:14 am
by Jacobs4Heisman
Redwingtom wrote:You have no problem with Chad Henne over Adrian Peterson on that list?

I'd say they're about equal in my mind. QB's have an inherent advantage in the Heisman Race and Michigan should be better than Oklahoma this year. Teams are gonna load up against peterson all year. they can't do that against Henne because Michigan may have the best backfield in the country. If peterson would have been mentioned over Jacobs I wouldn't have been upset either. Peterson has a realistic shot at winning the heisman. As much as I love Jacobs, and think he *should* be a frontrunner, I realize that he probably has no realistic shot at winning because of the biases built into the system.
I do think he'll make it to the ceremony though, something Gerald Riggs Jr. will never do.
87 -- I'm about with you. I was watching SC in hi-def just enjoying myself and all of a sudden Trev Alberts jumps out of a dark corner and notches my IQ down about 7 points. Sportscenter should have a disclaimer before Alberts does a segment:
"Attention -- those viewers who wish to keep some semblance of intelligence and knowledge concerning college football should probably change the channel right now. Rejoin us in 5 minutes when the idiocy subsides. We would like to thank you for watching and sincerely apologize for this inconvenience. Trev Alberts' Dad works in programming."
Posted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 10:15 am
by BGSUFootballFan
haha thats great, i still listen to them b/c it motivates me to know what i need to be informing people on... b/c think how many casual football fans watch them and believe every word they say cause thats all they have! im out to education the college football viewers on the truth!
Posted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 12:10 pm
by bacn3
First off i don't know what he's talking about with Peterson. "With White gone he won't get as many touches" how does that work?? I was at the BG OU game last year and that kid is for real no doubt about it Trev. Then he said something about Chad Henne and his 20 some TD passes last year, wow 20 some TD's and you're on that list as a soph? I don't think so!!!!
Posted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 12:19 pm
by UK Peregrine
bacn3 wrote:First off i don't know what he's talking about with Peterson. "With White gone he won't get as many touches" how does that work??
I didn't see the Trev bit, but my guess would be that Trev's concern is that with White gone, teams will focus on Peterson much more than last season and make their new QB, whoever that might be, beat them. Opponents will try to take Peterson out of the game by stacking the line more this year than in seasons past.
Posted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 12:23 pm
by Falconfreak90
I'm to the point where I couldn't care less what those choches say on ESPN. I love College Gameday but can't stand May, Alberts and James. I think I'll change the channel when one of them pops up this season.
OMARVELOUS FOR HEISMAN!
Posted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 1:23 pm
by ZiggyZoomba
This adds nothing to the thread, but I'm now extensively using the term "douchemonkey."
Thank you.
Posted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 1:39 pm
by 1987alum
ZiggyZoomba wrote:This adds nothing to the thread, but I'm now extensively using the term "douchemonkey."
Really? Writing that letter of resignation, are we?

Posted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 1:39 pm
by Warthog
UK Peregrine wrote:bacn3 wrote:First off i don't know what he's talking about with Peterson. "With White gone he won't get as many touches" how does that work??
I didn't see the Trev bit, but my guess would be that Trev's concern is that with White gone, teams will focus on Peterson much more than last season and make their new QB, whoever that might be, beat them. Opponents will try to take Peterson out of the game by stacking the line more this year than in seasons past.
I think Trev has Oklahoma-envy. Remember, he went to Nebraska. Those two programs have had rather divergent paths over the last five years. he is just jeolous of the Sooners success.
Posted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 1:54 pm
by Jacobs4Heisman
ZiggyZoomba wrote:This adds nothing to the thread, but I'm now extensively using the term "douchemonkey."
Thank you.
My life has improved Tenfold since adapting the term into my daily vocabulary. Good luck with your new life.
FWIW I don't think I'll ever say or type Trev Alberts' name from this day forth without interjecting douchemonkey. It just fits him so well.
Posted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 2:07 pm
by 1987alum
Jacobs4Heisman wrote:FWIW I don't think I'll ever say or type Trev Alberts' name from this day forth without interjecting douchemonkey. It just fits him so well.
No need to interject. Henceforth, let him be known as Douchemonkey Alberts or, for brevity's sake, The Douchemonkey.
Posted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 2:17 pm
by Falconfreak90
J4H,
Every time I see "douchemonkey" I bust out laughing.
