Toledo Jokes Thread.

Schadenfreude · Post by **Schadenfreude** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 2:09 pm

TG1996 wrote:
Schadenfreude wrote: Wow.
I guess that was a little harsh, huh? With all due respect to the innocent victim, that one was intended for the unruly mob.

It was utterly tasteless and you'll go to hell for it... and it was the funniest thing I've read all week.

Rollo83 · Post by **Rollo83** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 2:48 pm

Q: Why did they install astro turf instead of a grass field in the Glass Bowl?

A: So the Rocket Cheerleaders wouldn't graze after games.

Q: What's the difference between a bowling ball and a Toldeo Rocket cheerleader?

A: You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.

1987alum · Post by **1987alum** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 4:39 pm

Rollo83: Oh ... my ... goodness ...

nwofalconfan · Post by **nwofalconfan** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 4:42 pm

Did you hear TU is only dressing 30 players for the game with BG? The rest of them will have to dress themselves.

What does the Toledo graduate say to the Bowling Green graduate? Hello Boss.

1987alum · Post by **1987alum** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 5:32 pm

Toledo degree placement tests have been changed to use a format more Toledo students can understand - Legos. Here are some examples ...

Fine Arts majors: Pick your favorite color Lego.

Accounting majors: Count the legos (limit 10; time limit - 1 hour)

Engineering majors: Connect two or more Legos; time limit - 3 hours

English majors: Spell L-e-g-o.

Football players: Steal as many Legos as you can.

bgsufn · Post by **bgsufn** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 10:31 pm

And my favorite...

Q: What happens when a Toledo fan takes Viagra?

A: He gets taller!

nwofalconfan · Post by **nwofalconfan** » Fri Nov 19, 2004 3:35 pm

What do you call a TU cheerleader with 2 brain cells? Pregnant

Did you hear about the experiment that the TU science department tried? They attempted to breed a pig with a TU coed but it failed, because there are somethings even a pig won't do.

1987alum · Post by **1987alum** » Fri Nov 19, 2004 3:56 pm

Seen from a UT English class

A UT English professor reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family - but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"

A UT football player in the back of the room raises his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"

The professor hakes her head and says: "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

1987alum · Post by **1987alum** » Fri Nov 19, 2004 3:59 pm

UT professor: Well, at least there's one thing I can say about your quarterback.

Coach Imstufft: What's that?

Teacher: With grades like these, he couldn't be cheating.

nwofalconfan · Post by **nwofalconfan** » Fri Nov 19, 2004 4:03 pm

I just heard this on the Dan Patrick show and thought it was quite appropriate for Toledo--

What do you get when you drive slowly through Toledo? A diploma.

1987alum · Post by **1987alum** » Fri Nov 19, 2004 4:04 pm

A senior on the Rocket football team was hired by a supermarket and reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store."

"But I'm a University of Toledo student," the young man replied indignantly.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom; I'll show you how."