This is pretty funny and true

[MobileBama]

Football: North vs. South

WOMEN'S ATTIRE

Up North: Chapstick in their back pocket and a $20 bill in their front pocket.

Down South: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, powder, mascara (waterproof), concealer, and a bottle Perrier. Wallet not necessary-that's what dates are for.

STADIUM SIZE

Up north: College football stadiums hold 20,000.

Down south: High school football stadiums hold 20,000

NAMES

Up North: Doug Flutie

Down South: Dion Sanders

WEATHER

Up North: Snow and Ice.

Down South: Sunny, highs mid-60s, lows in the thirties.

FATHERS

Up North: Expect their daughter to understand Sylvia Plath.

Down South: Expect their daughters to understand pass interference.

ATTIRE

Up North: Male and female alike: woolly sweater or sweatshirt, jeans.

Down South: Male - pressed khakis, oxford shirt, cap with frat logo, Panthers. Female - ankle-length skirt, coordinated cardigan, flat riding boots, oxford.

ALUMNI

Up North: Take prospects on sailing trips before they join the law firm.

Down South: Take prospects on fishing trips so they don't leave for the NFL their senior year.

CAMPUS DECOR

Up North: Statues of Founding Fathers.

Down South: Statues of Heisman Trophy winners.

HOMECOMING QUEEN

Up North: Also a physics major.

Down South: Also Miss USA.

HEROES

Up North: Mario Cuomo

Down South: "Bear" Bryant, Bobby Bowden

GETTING TICKETS

Up North: 5 days before the game you can walk into the ticket office on campus and still purchase tickets.

Down South: 5 months before the game you can walk into the ticket office on campus and still be placed on the waiting list for tickets.

FRIDAY CLASSES AFTER A THURSDAY NIGHT GAME

Up North: Students and Teachers are not sure if they are going because they have class on Friday.

Down South: Teachers cancel class on Friday because they don't want to see the few hung over students that might actually make it to class on Friday.

PARKING

Up North: An hour or two before game time the university opens the campus for game parking.

Down South: RV's sporting their school flags begin arriving on Wednesday for the weekend's festivities. The real faithful begin arriving on Tuesday.

GAME DAY

Up North: A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV.

Down South: Every student wakes up, has a beer for breakfast, and rushes over to where ESPN is broadcasting Game Day "Live" to get on camera and wave to the idiots from up North who wonder why Game Day is never broadcast from their campus.

TAILGATING

Up North: Wieners on the grill, beer with a lime in it, listening to local radio station with truck tailgate down.

Down South: 30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up at dawn. Cooking accompanied by live performance by Hootie & the Blowfish, who come over during breaks and ask for a couple bottles of beer.

GETTING TO THE STADIUM

Up North: You have to ask, "Where's the stadium?" When you find it you walk right in with no line. Down South: When you're near it, you'll hear it. On game day, it becomes the state's third largest city.

CONCESSIONS

Up North: Drinks served in a paper cup filled to the top with soda.

Down South: Drinks served in a plastic cup with the home team's mascot-filled less than halfway to ensure enough room for bourbon.

WHEN THE NATIONAL ANTHEM IS PLAYED

Up North: Stands are less than half full.

Down South: 80,000+ fans sing along in perfect 3-part harmony.

THE SMELL IN THE AIR AFTER THE FIRST SCORE

Up North: Nothing changes.

Down South: Fireworks with a twist of beer.

COMMENTARY (MALE)

Up North: "Nice play."

Down South: "Dammit you slow sumbitch! Tackle him and break his legs!!!"

COMMENTARY (FEMALE)

Up North: "My, this is a violent sport."

Down South: "Dammit you slow sumbitch! Tackle him and break his legs!!!"

AFTER THE GAME

Up North: The stadium is empty before the game ends.

Down South: Another rack of ribs on the smoker. While somebody goes to the nearest package store for more beer, planning begins for next week's party.

[BGSU Falconz]

Largely negatory on both accounts.

[MobileBama]

It's just for fun, not meant to insult or be negative.

[BGSUfanatUT]

NAMES
North: Mike, Josh, Nick, etc
South: Cletus, Scout, Yoder

WEATHER
North: unpredictable
South: Hurricanes

HOCKEY
North: YES!
South: no

HOMECOMING QUEEN
North: Success career
South: marries someone with a successful career

HEROES
North: Ken Morrow
South: General Lee

GAME DAY
North: LIVE FROM THE DOYT
South: Corso: "wish we were in BG again, did you see the ladies they had there Kirk?"

TEETH
North: full set
South: 7

AFTER THE GAME
North: 56-21
South: 13-3




Hope no one takes offense, 'twas all in good fun, I had some others but didn't want to go any further than the OP did. this was fun! 8)

[Schadenfreude]

STADIUM SIZE

Up north: College football stadiums hold 20,000.

Down south: High school football stadiums hold 20,000

Let me offer this compromise: If our visitors will refrain from trying to peg us as New Yorkers, we will cut out the Civil War (and dental) jokes.

This is Ohio. Football is big here. The pro game was invented here, we are by far the most important source of talent north of the Mason-Dixon Line and we have some big ol' high school football stadiums, too.

Canton McKinley (and other Canton schools) play in the 27,000-seat district-owned stadium that also hosts the NFL Hall of Fame Game. Massillion's Paul Brown Stadium holds about 17,000 seats and is generally full for every game.

The Ohio high school attendance record appears to be 70,955 for a 1943 game between Cleveland Latin and Cleveland Holy Name at the old Municipal Stadium.

Three years ago, Cincinnati's Paul Brown Stadium pulled in nearly 48,000 for a doubleheader featuring Cincinnati Elder, Colerain, St. Xavier and Princeton.

http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:sv ... nce+&hl=en

[windycityfalcon]

Also worth mentioning that the biggest college football stadium in the land is "Up North." While not in Ohio.. it's even farther north.. in Michigan..
they call it the Big House, because that's what it is.
Also, apparently no one down south has ever been to tailgating at the Doyt.
I've been there as early as 10 am for a 6pm game drinking and havin' fun.

[MobileBama]

Yeah, things are a bit different down here, as some have pointed out. Just dont take that joke too serious. Of course we know y'all enjoy college football just as much as we do.

[UK Peregrine]

"Ah ha ha, it's true. it's true. We're so lame!"

BG@TU, nice Ken Morrow reference.
http://www.ushockeyhall.com/Enshrinees/Ken%20Morrow.htm

[bgbill]

Attire Question: What happened to Bass Weejuns?

[BGSUfanatUT]

Also worth mentioning that the biggest college football stadium in the land is "Up North." While not in Ohio.. it's even farther north.. in Michigan..
they call it the Big House, because that's what it is.
Also, apparently no one down south has ever been to tailgating at the Doyt.
I've been there as early as 10 am for a 6pm game drinking and havin' fun.

Ive even been at the stadium at 6pm the DAY BEFORE a 7pm game. 25 hours in advance. DO you do that in the south?

UK- thanks, and thanks for the link! that is quite smoooooooooooth!!!!!

[UK Peregrine]

Did anyone get the Simpson's referenece in my previous post? Hint: Homer was watching a comedian on TV.

[goofyeuph]

Football: North vs. South

WHEN THE NATIONAL ANTHEM IS PLAYED

Up North: Stands are less than half full.

Down South: 80,000+ fans sing along in perfect 3-part harmony.

Only 3 part harmony?? I'da thunk with that many people we could get 4 parts? Not that I would really know, I'm on the field playing the SSB.

Umm...yeah...my idea of tailgating is a 7am rehearsal for a 1pm game :ugh: Maybe next year when I'm not in the band I can get some help fixing that.

[hammb]

Did anyone get the Simpson's referenece in my previous post? Hint: Homer was watching a comedian on TV.

Of course I did. He was laughing at how lame White guys are in reference to a black stand up comic. I just didn't get a chance to post, until you'd already uncovered your subtle humor

[tigerjeb]

[Also, apparently no one down south has ever been to tailgating at the Doyt.
I've been there as early as 10 am for a 6pm game drinking and havin' fun.[/quote]


Ive even been at the stadium at 6pm the DAY BEFORE a 7pm game. 25 hours in advance. DO you do that in the south?

every game there are tailgates set up mid afternoon the day before the game. local tv even comes out to join us for the bigger games.


the saturday morning breakfast crowd

[BGSUfanatUT]

yeah but were you ESPN's unsung heroes? 8) That day is etched in my mind forever.