Goalie Heckling

[The Niz]

What is the worst possible thing you could say to a goalie? My strength in heckling has always been as more of a chirper. I can pick something funny about a name and run with it all night, but as far as a real universal crusher I'm a little lost.

The reason I ask is that in the interest of filling up some dead space after goals and in the interest of having a little fun at the opposing goalie's expense, I have started writing a short, very stupid, moderately to not very humorous song to sing. Close to the style of a sort of drinking song, I have a few lines in and am now pressed for a strong closer. I would post what I have so far, but reading it looks fairly ridiculous and borderline mentally challenged. However I feel confident that it will be something more creative, interesting, and fun, than any of the stupid crap UM, MU, and MSU do. If anyone really wants to read it I will be happy to oblige.

Feel free to post whether or not you think this is a silly misguided attempt or whatever else you may think about the idea. In my extremely sleep deprived state I'm having some doubts about my judgment.

[Peregrinner]

Honestly, the thing I like more than anything is to get an opposing player laughing. Either way, you know their focus is off the game, and making people laugh is a heck of a lot more fun.

I think the idea of a song could work, but it would just be a matter of actually getting a big enough group participating that they could actually hear it (which I think could be very difficult). Having spoken to players about it before, there's not a whole lot that's said off the ice that can be heard/understood on the ice. That is unless, I'm assuming, you get a big group going.

[The Niz]

Honestly, the thing I like more than anything is to get an opposing player laughing. Either way, you know their focus is off the game, and making people laugh is a heck of a lot more fun.

I think the idea of a song could work, but it would just be a matter of actually getting a big enough group participating that they could actually hear it (which I think could be very difficult). Having spoken to players about it before, there's not a whole lot that's said off the ice that can be heard/understood on the ice. That is unless, I'm assuming, you get a big group going.

A group say for example, like the A-band... ...which now resides right next to the student section?


The type of thing I'm going for is our usual type of chirping only in a song. Things like, your five hole is bigger than Paris Hilton's. Or when Mahoney-Wilson was here we had things like hidey-ho good neighbor and all kinds of french hyphenated name calling and requests for baguettes.

[Peregrinner]

Honestly, the thing I like more than anything is to get an opposing player laughing. Either way, you know their focus is off the game, and making people laugh is a heck of a lot more fun.

I think the idea of a song could work, but it would just be a matter of actually getting a big enough group participating that they could actually hear it (which I think could be very difficult). Having spoken to players about it before, there's not a whole lot that's said off the ice that can be heard/understood on the ice. That is unless, I'm assuming, you get a big group going.

A group say for example, like the A-band... ...which now resides right next to the student section?

OK, fair enough, I suppose that's a group that's big enough and more than likely OK with singing.

I guess what it would take then (at least in order to have goalie-specific songs) is to write one or two for each of the #1 and #2 goalies before/at each game, just in case they don't start their #1 or they have to pull whoever they start.

[The Niz]

I was aiming more towards the same song all the time, not a different one for each game or series. Although for me it would probably be easier to pick on individuals. I was looking to give us something different than what every other school in the country does... ..."sieve sieve sieve, you suck you suck you suck, its all your fault..." just trying to give us a more creative outlet.

[Peregrinner]

I agree, I am a fan of anything we can do that is more creative and sets us apart from other the crap that goes on at other schools.

I guess I understand what you're going for now. I just got the impression that you wanted stuff like you mentioned for Mahoney-Wilson.

[goofyeuph]

borderline mentally challenged

Borderline??

In all honesty bro, that sound great. 'Sieve' is the only thing I can think of right now, but of course I have spent the last 5 hours shooting pool and drinking beer at the local watering hole. Send me what you've got so far. If you don't have my e-mail pm me and I'll get it to you.

Just whatever you do, do me a favor. Heckle the puck out of the Buckeyes this weekend.

[Falcon Fanatic]

We used to yell a goalie cheer once in awhile. It was pretty funny and even made the players on the ice augh. We'd get a whole section A or H to do it together. Keep in mind it's also a visual, with motion at the end. Any of you veteran fans out there, if I've got the words wrong, feel free to correct it!

After we score, standing up, yell in unison:
Goalie, Goalie tried and true
We will do our cheer for you!
WHOOOOPS!! (lift right arm arcing upward, elbow up, showing you just let a goal go past you, under your arm) That arm movement was hard to put into words, it's much easier to show you!

Yup, it's corney, but it was a lot of fun and just one of many that united our crowd against the opponent!

[The Niz]

We used to yell a goalie cheer once in awhile. It was pretty funny and even made the players on the ice augh. We'd get a whole section A or H to do it together. Keep in mind it's also a visual, with motion at the end. Any of you veteran fans out there, if I've got the words wrong, feel free to correct it!

After we score, standing up, yell in unison:
Goalie, Goalie tried and true
We will do our cheer for you!
WHOOOOPS!! (lift right arm arcing upward, elbow up, showing you just let a goal go past you, under your arm) That arm movement was hard to put into words, it's much easier to show you!

Yup, it's corney, but it was a lot of fun and just one of many that united our crowd against the opponent!

I have no rhyming in my song, i guess that part of what I thought would make it funny/effective. I like the goalie cheer though. If these guys would start scoring three or four (five or six would be better) goals a night maybe we could get stuff to stick.

[It's the Journey...]

This is totally off topic, but kind of related. How many on here remember the "Box Song" the Athletic Band used to sing at the games? I would love to see that make a return. I would write it out but it must be heard and seen to get the full effect.

[The Niz]

I changed my mind, it rhymes now. I liked FF's clever little chant too much.

It is proving difficult now to come up with things that rhyme with Hilton though.

[Falcon Fanatic]

I changed my mind, it rhymes now. I liked FF's clever little chant too much.

It is proving difficult now to come up with things that rhyme with Hilton though.

Thanks for the credit, but it wasn't mine, just one of many that we used to do at EVERY game!!

GO FALCONS!!
SWEEEEEEEEEP duh schmuckeyes!!!!

[The Niz]

All right, I think I have the final product. Everything I stated earlier about mental challenges still applies but is absolutely hilarious to hear a group of people singing it.

Its to the tune of an old english sailing song called "Safe and Sound and Home Again"


Hey (goalie’s name),


No sieve, colander, or Swiss cheese,
You hardly play well enough to please,
We don’t think a ’that you suck,
You just never stop the puck!
Goalie Goalie Goalie Let the puck go by,
And you can hear us count real high,
Love to sing Aye-Zig all night,
Goalie Goalie Goalie let the puck go by!
Playing days are almost done,
Five hole big as Paris Hilton’s…
Hope we’re not being too mean,
You’re the best player on our team!
Goalie Goalie Goalie Let the puck go by,
And you can hear us count real high,
Love to sing Aye-Zig all night,
Goalie Goalie Goalie let the puck go by!
Self esteem shattered, and your ego broke,
Its not your fault, that D’s a joke!
Once again you’ve let them down,
Soon you’ll be run out of town!
Goalie Goalie Goalie Let the puck go by,
And you can hear us count real high,
Love to sing Aye-Zig all night,
Goalie Goalie Goalie let the puck go by!
Goalie Goalie Goalie Let the puck go by,
And you can hear us count real high,
Love to sing Aye-Zig all night,
Goalie Goalie Goalie let the puck go by!


Post Script: Be gentle

Edited to correct my copy and paste error on the lyrics. Doesn't have to be nearly that long either, I just got carried away. Then again, the more goals he gives up, the longer the song could get...

[musicman2343]

All right, I think I have the final product. Everything I stated earlier about mental challenges still applies but is absolutely hilarious to hear a group of people singing it.

Its to the tune of an old english sailing song called "Safe and Sound and Home Again"


Hey (Goalie's Name),

Not a Sieve, nor colander, nor swiss cheese,
You hardly play well enough to please.
We don't think your terrible or that you suck,
You just never seem to stop the puck.
Your playing days are almost done,
With a five hole bigger than Paris Hilton's,
Hope we're not being too mean,
'Cause you're the best player on our team.
With Self-esteem shattered and your ego broke,
Its not your fault, that D's a joke.
So Goalie Goalie Goalie let the puck go by,
and you can hear us count real high.
We'd love to sing Aye-Zig all night,
So Goalie Goalie Goalie let the puck go by!


Post Script: Be Gentle

I think it's pretty ingenious and would sound hilarious sung by a huge group of people. of course, we'll all have to learn the melody and words. maybe distribute them at the next game the a-band plays at! we could defintely get some of the a-band to sing it really loud. maybe it will catch on. and since we're near the student section and above the boards, if enough of us sing it, it may reach the ice!
great job Niz!

[Peregrinner]

I've been working on a couple of goalie cheers, too. Maybe I'll post them at some point if I think they're any good.