1. Bad concession? Eat before you come and/or after you leave. It's just that simple. Or bring/make something you actually like for a tailgate. That's part of the idea of doing one in the first place. But the money you spend eating before or after at another place will one, likely be a better product, and two, won't have you missing any of the game standing in line for it. And for those who aren't too lazy to actually walk.....I know, I know, HUH?!?! WHAT?!?! WALK??? Yeah, yeah, I know, just hear me out first - and yes I'm well aware that many of the students and faculty of BGSU doesn't like this idea or won't do it which is why half of our campus consists of surface lots - but there are plenty of places you can easily walk to in BG, especially in nice weather. We parked at the stadium and walk downtown (or to other places in BG) all the time. It's an easy walk, you can even cut through campus and go down memory lane along the way. And here's the kicker - you might, just might even enjoy it. You put one foot in front of the other, and before you know it, you're moving. You will even burn a few calories along the way. And the best part is you can take this idea with you after the game and do it at home too.
2. Long lines at the gate? Don't wait until under 30 minutes before kickoff to try and get in. Just don't. That's what everyone else is doing too. Start your tailgate a little earlier and wrap it up a little earlier. But if you wait until it's getting close to kickoff like most everyone does to get it, then don't bitch because you have to wait in some sort of a line. You are part of that line yourself. There's going to be one. Further, when we actually have long lines, it's sort of a good thing. Meaning - people want to go to the game! We complain about people not attending all the damn time, but when they do, we're gonna complain how there was a line? You think we're unique to this situation? Try going to a 80,000-100,000 seat stadium using this brilliant method of waiting shortly before kickoff to go in and you'll see how the 10-15 minutes you waited at BG was a piece of cake. On those midweek night games it's different, but for home openers or bigger opponents, don't wait then comment there's a line. You're doing the exact same thing as everyone else. It's like going to a BG game and being surprised there's wind. Don't be. We all know there's going to be.
3. Parking? Arrive in plenty of time before kickoff. And by plenty of time, that means nowhere near under an hour before kickoff. Just like the long lines as kickoff nears, the same happens for parking. There are too many people who expect to just pull up, park and be in the stadium like it's running into the grocery store to get a gallon of milk. I doesn't work that way and you will continue to be very disappointed. And frustrated. Again, weekday night games, you have much more flexibility to do so. But games like yesterday, you already knew better.
4. PA announcement/commercials: Okay, okay....NOW is the perfect time to actually use your smartphone! Unlike during the game when you missed the 94-yard TD bomb to Roger Lewis because you were texting about your plans for later that night or tweeting about how you're at the game. Wait for a stoppage in play - and trust me when I tell you this - there will be PLENTY of them! That is the perfect time to text people back, check other scores, check the game stats, send your mom an email, do whatever it is you do on it, but do it now. You don't need to do it during the game because you're there and supposed to be watching it, remember? It's why you came. You will have more than plenty of stoppages to do everything you need to do on your smartphone. Chances are you won't hear a damn word being said through the PA or commercial (no matter how loud) and before you know it you'll look up and realize the game has already started again. Or - better yet - you could actually remove your face from the phone and actually talk the person sitting next to you. You know, one of the ones you came to the game with that you've been texting while there. Try it, it's like going back in time!
Once you've mastered all of this, you'll become a pro. Once you get the hang of it, you can starting leaving home earlier on gamedays, which is probably a good thing because you probably don't want to get there anyway....you can park you car without having to wait in a long line....you can get inside the stadium without standing in a long line....you can eat actual fresh concessions food because there's no one buying it yet and there's no long line, and you'll actually experience the pleasantries of concessions like buns and pretzels that aren't hard as a rock, where the hot dogs are actually warm, and heck, since you have all this newfound free time on your hands, you even find pleasure in doing the math for the concessions workers when you buy a $3 hot dog and $2 Coke and handed them a $5 bill as they reach for a calculator to figure out your change (you won't feel near the same satisfaction doing this in a long line while missing the game later on).....then you can go to your seat and start texting all of your friends who are going to arrive later bitching for the first 5-10 minutes after they sit down about how long it took them to park and how long it took them to get inside before they start to choke on a stale hot dog bun - but you won't be able to hear them anyway because the PA system is too loud.
