Peter: We don't have a lot of time on this earth! We weren't meant to spend it this way. Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day... filling out useless forms... and listening to eight different bosses drone on about mission statements.
Michael: I told those fudge packers that I liked Michael Bolton's music.
Peter: Oh that is not right, Michael.
Bob Porter: Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately.
Peter: I wouldn't say I've been 'missing' it Bob
Bob Slidell: What.. what would you say... you do here?
Tom: Look, I already told you! I deal with the goddamn customers so the engineers don't have to! I have people skills! I am good at dealing with people! Can't you understand that? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!
Peter Gibbons : You see Bob, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.
Bob Porter : Don't? Don't care?
Peter Gibbons : It's a problem of motivation, alright? Now if I work my ass off and Initech ships a few extra units, I don't see another dime, so where's the motivation? And here's another thing, I have eight different bosses right now.
Bob Porter : Eight?
Peter Gibbons : Eight Bob. So that means when I make a mistake, I have eight different people coming by to tell me about it. That's my only real motivation is not to be hassled, that and the fear of losing my job. But you know, Bob, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired.
Peter Gibbons : What would you do if you had a million dollars?
Lawrence : I'll tell you what I'd do, man, two chicks at the same time, man.
Peter Gibbons : That's it? If you had a million dollars, you'd do two chicks at the same time?
Lawrence : Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I had a million dollars I could hook that up, cause chicks dig a dude with money.
Peter Gibbons : Well, not all chicks.
Lawrence : Well the kind of chicks that'd double up on a dude like me do.
Peter Gibbons : Good point.
Lawrence : Well what about you now? what would you do?
Peter Gibbons : Besides two chicks at the same time?
Lawrence : Well yeah.
Peter Gibbons : Nothing.
Lawrence : Nothing, huh?
Peter Gibbons : I'd relax, I would sit on my ass all day, I would do nothing.
Lawrence : Well you don't need a million dollars to do nothing, man. Just take a look at my cousin, he's broke, don't do s**t.
Samir : No one in this country can ever pronounce my name right. It's not that hard: Samir Na-gheen-an-a-jar. Nagheenanajar.
Michael Bolton : Yeah, well at least your name isn't Michael Bolton.
Samir : You know there's nothing wrong with that name.
Michael Bolton : There was nothing wrong with it... until I was about 12 years old and that no-talent ass clown became famous and started winning Grammys.
Samir : Hmm... well why don't you just go by Mike instead of Michael?
Michael Bolton : No way. Why should I change? He's the one who sucks.
Seriously you could do this all day and write a freaking book. Every quote in this movie is just a classic!
So what is the picture?
